May the 4th be Bluetooth

This stormtrooper Bluetooth speaker is ideal for indulging your Star Wars geek obsession while simultaneously messing up your partner’s aesthetic for your home. You’re welcome. By Gary O’Donnell.

There are some items that you love in your home and your martial housemate hates. The way to ensure that this item is given pride of place is to ensure that it is expensive, limited edition, has an awesome backstory and serves a function that you both require.

Ladies and gentlemen, this May the 4th, I give you a Bluetooth speaker that is so covetable that God would have given Moses an amendment covering it if it had been about back in the day. Our story starts in 1976 when Andrew Ainsworth, prop-maker at Shepperton Design Studios, created the armour and helmet for the original stormtroopers. This life-size Bluetooth speaker has been made in collaboration with Mr. Ainsworth and is based on the original helmet mould he produced for the first film. You can’t get closer to the real thing than this.

There are just 450 of these limited edition speakers on the market and each comes with a certificate of authenticity signed by Andrew Ainsworth. That’s only 450 rows about not wanting your living room to look like a side room in Comic-Con. You know I want to have that row. You know you want to have that row. Let’s have that row.

What’s the damage?
A related row might be “you spent how much on a speaker?!?” – £300, as it goes. There are two speakers, one each side at the base of the helmet, giving you a total output of 20w. It syncs to your devices via Bluetooth and has a range of 10 metres. Let’s face it, the place where I use my Bluetooth speaker most is in the bathroom and who wouldn’t want to gaze lovingly at a stormtrooper’s helmet when washing your own?

Shut up and take my money. Details please? 
The Thumbs Up Stormtrooper Bluetooth Speaker launches exclusively on Amazon today. Get yours here.

Next week: Divorce lawyers reviewed.


(An important aside: when writing this, I capped up Stormtrooper and, when she subbed it, Tania capped it down. I asked “are you sure?” and she googled it. That’s when we came across this genius Star Wars style guide. Marvellous, it is.)